A New Year, A New Time
by Donatello8696
Summary: Soda doesn't know what to do anymore, dealing with the absence of the people that he loved. Will Pony and Darry help him... before it's too late? ON HIATUS
1. Drunk and Worries

**-Ponyboy's POV-**

I was walking home from school on the last day. It relieved me that it was finally summertime. School wasn't all that was cracked up to be these days. Huh, when is it ever? I turned in my English semester theme for Mr. Simes and was glad that I passed. Knowing that two of my friends, Johnny and Dallas were dead had really taken my will to do well in school, even with Darry on my back every minute of the day. I was thinking what I was going to do this summer, when my friend Two-Bit caught up to me.

"Hey Ponyboy!" he said, ruffling my hair. I swatted his hand away, laughing.

"Lay off, Two-Bit," I said. Two-Bit smiled michieviously.

"What? Ain't ya glad that school finally over?" he said. I looked up him, slightly surprised. Two-Bit had a reputation at school that included always flunking every year. He was now nineteen, for Pete's sake and he was still in his junior year. I'm going to be a sophmore next year, and I'm going to be fifteen. He flunks for the fun of it; he never has anything better to do.

"How come you're so happy? You're going to be a junior next year for all I care. What are you going to do now that there is no school?" I challenged him. He looked as though he were pretending to think about it.

"I dunno," he said carelessly. We both laughed, then raced each other towards my house. Darry was at work, and Lord knows where Sodapop was; he can't really stay in one place for too long now. Me and Two-Bit went inside, and Two-Bit just plopped down onto the sofa, turning on the TV. I went over to the kitchen and got me a Pepsi, then sat down next to Two-Bit, who was flipping through channels. After a while of this, I took to staring out the window waiting for my brothers to get home. Five minutes later, Soda came in, supported by Steve. Soda was looking dazed, grinning even wider then the Chesire cat, and when Steve let him go, he stumbled dangerously. I ran over to him and helped him on his I carried him towards the couch and sat him down. I looked at Steve, waiting for an explanation. Steve put up his hands.

"Not my fault. Nobody told us that the drinks were full of alchohol," he said, sitting next to Two-Bit. I looked out the window and smirked turning toward Steve.

"You wanna try and explain it to Darry?" I said. Steve thought this was one of my pranks. He ignored me and just stared at the television. "I'm serious, Steve," I continued. "Darry's about to come in." Steve scoffed.

"Yeah right, Pony. Nice try. But even if he was coming, you're carrying Soda. He wouldn't know it was me who took him to that one party we wen-" That was as far as Steve got before Darry came in, staring at Steve, looking furious.

"You WHAT?!" he shouted at Steve. Steve cowered.

"Oh shit," he whispered. Then he stood up suddenly and bolted towards the back door, Darry right behind him. The yell of pain from Steve was heard even from the living room. After a moment, Darry came back in, but Steve wasn't behind him.

"Hey Dar, what'cha do to Steve," Two-Bit asked. Darry gave him that clearly said _I beat the living hell out of him. _So we didn't press on. Soda looked up at us, as though seeing us for the first time.

"H-hey Pony," he said drunkly, messing up my hair. _Great_, I thought. _That's the second time today._ "Hey you look real wierd." He laughed. Darry sat down beside Soda. Soda looked at him, still smiling.

"Hey Dar, how's it going man?" he said. Darry looked concerned.

"Are you alright, Soda?" he asked. Then he stuck up three fingers. "How many fingers am I holding up?" Soda looked at him wierdly. Then smiled again.

"Hey Darry, I didn't know you had six fingers on each hand," he said, looking at Darry's three fingers. Looking back up at Darry, his eyes widened slightly in astonishment. "And I also didn't know that ya had a twin brother. Man, why don't you guys tell me these things?" He laughed again.

**-Darry's POV-**

I was getting a bit worried. My brother never used to drink alchohol. Then, without warning, Soda's smile disappeared, and he stood up and ran for the bathroom. We could hear Soda being sick in the living room, and I stood up and went to the after him. Soda was grabbing onto the sides of the sink and leaning against it. He was shaking something fierce, so I ran over and put my arm around him, wrapping him in a tight embrace. I kept my arm around Soda until his shaking stopped. I was scared for Sodapop. Ever since Dally and Johnny's deaths, he was getting more reckless. He was still his happy-go-lucky self, but now he was doing more then just getting drunk at parties.

He gets mad constantly. Whenever me and Ponyboy try to get him to explain what was wrong, he breaks down crying, but he doesn't answer. He stays out later then his curfew, and when I ask him where he's been, he back-talks, saying 'it was none of my fuckin' business' everytime.

Now, he goes to under-21 parties and gets drunk often. I helped him to his feet and brought him to his room.

"Come on, Soda," I said softly. He would stumble on the way there, but I kept him steady. In his room, I carefully laid him on the bed. He fell asleep quickly. I quietly closed the door and went downstairs into the living room. I sat down on the couch with a tired sigh. Ponyboy, who was reading nearby, looked up.

"Hey Darry, how's Soda doin'?" he asked. I leaned my head back and closed my eyes.

"He'll be fine. He'll have an aching head in the morning, though," I said. When I opened my eyes again, I saw Pony looking extremely worried. I went over to him and hugged him gently. I knew what he was feeling. He hugged me back.

"What's gonna happen to him, Darry?" he said in a quivering voice. He was shaking slightly. He was crying. I wish I knew what was gonna happen to Sodapop. I didn't know what to say to my youngest brother. Finally, I just sighed and said, "I don't know Pony. I don't know."


	2. No Matter What

**-Sodapop's POV-**

I woke up feeling groggy. Looking around, I realized that I was in my room that I share with Ponyboy. I looked at the alarm clock, and was surprised that it read 7:42 p.m. How long was I out? I also realized that Ponyboy was not in bed. Slowly, I sat up, receiving a sharp pain in my head. I yelped in pain when I received the shock. Then, I heard rapid footsteps coming up the stairs, and Darry and Ponyboy came in. Darry ran to my side.

"Hey Soda, you alright?" Darry said, a little too loudly. My head was throbbing pretty badly, and I wanted to tell Darry to shut up, but all that came out of my mouth was a groan of pain, and I laid my head back onto the pillow slowly.

"Soda, you okay?" Darry repeated. He seemed to have realized his mistake, because now his voice was quieter. I looked up at my brothers.

"Yeah, I'm fine, Darry," I said. Then I tried to get out of bed, but Ponyboy's hand pushed me back into bed. I tried again, but with the same result. "Come on Pony. Let me get out of bed," I said, trying to get up again. But this time, Darry pushed me back into my bed.

"Sorry little buddy," he said. "You're gonna have to stay in bed for a while." I wanted to protest, but Darry spoke again. "Stay in bed, Soda," he said, more gently. Recognizing defeat, I gave up. "Okay....okay," I said, barely whispering, I was so exhausted. I laid my head into a more comfortable position on my pillow and went to sleep in no time at all.

**-Darry's POV-**

Pony and I stayed by Soda long after he fell asleep. We didn't know what to do with Soda anymore. He was getting more angry each day. He nearly brought Ponyboy to tears the other day, and the memory of what happened wasn't making me feel any better.

***Flashback***

Soda had told me that he was going out with Steve and he wouldn't be back until 11:30 that night. I had agreed, but reluctantly. Ponyboy and I did work around the house to help pass time, and Two-Bit had come over. After a hour of watching Mickey on TV, he left to his house. I was watching the clock the entire time. When it read five to eleven, I started to feel a bit better, knowing Soda would be home soon. But that was short-lived. 11:30 had come and gone, and Soda wasn't home yet. I looked out the window to see if he was headed this way, but I saw an empty street. Worry started to build up inside me. I was getting frantic by the time one in the morning came. I was at the point of getting up and going out to look for him, thoughts of what could have happened to him running through my head, when I heard the front door open and close with a snap. I ran into the living room and saw Soda taking off his coat, facing the doorway. I went up to him and put a hand on his shoulder, roughly turning him around, facing me.

"Sodapop Patrick Curtis," I said angrily. "You tell me right now where have you been!" He shoved my arm away and walked towards the staircase without saying anything. I stopped him before he had gone a couple steps. "Soda, do you know what time it is?" I said. He looked at me blankly, then shrugged, trying to walk back up the stairs. I tried to stop him, but it wouldn't have made much of a difference, since he already stopped. Ponyboy was walking down the steps, looking at the scene below him.

"What's goin' on?"he said. We didn't answer. I turned back towards Soda.

"Where have you been? You said you would be back at 11:30. Well, guess what? It's one in the morning, Soda. You tell me where you've been!"I said, my voice rising with every word.

"I already told you earlier, I was with Steve," Soda said, looking a bit annoyed.

"What caused you to come back almost two hours late of the time you told me?" I said. "Didn't it matter to you that we were worrying about something that could have happened to you?" Soda wheeled around facing me clearly. He wasn't looking at all like the Sodapop we knew anymore. There was fierce anger in his eyes, and it startled me for a second, but I didn't show it in my expression.

"Look, I'm sorry that I came home late. The movie went on longer than we planned it to. And anyway," Soda said, looking furious, "you have no right to question me. What I do with my time is my own business."

"Until it gets you killed," I said lowly. Soda paused for a split-second, then said through gritted teeth, "It's my life to lose, Darry." Ponyboy looked stunned. I was startled by my brother's words. Did he think that he could get killed and think that we don't care just because it was his life? Ponyboy cautiously put a hand on Soda's arm.

"Soda, you don't mean tha-" he started, but in a sudden movement from Soda, he pushed our little brother to the wall, away from him. "You stay out of it!" he shouted at Ponyboy, then he ran up the stairs, into his and Ponyboy's room, and slammed the door. I helped Ponyboy up, who looked on the verge of tears. Looking back up the steps, I knew he needed help. He needed us.

***End Flashback***

I shook my head from that memory, and remembered that I was with Soda and Pony in thier room. I looked at the clock, which read 7:58. I looked from Soda, who was sleeping soundly, to Pony, who was looking at Soda with an almost helpless expression on his face. After a while we stood up and left the room, both with the same thought in our heads: We have to find a way to help our brother, and no matter what it was, we're gonna find it. No matter what.


	3. Gonna Be Late

**-Ponyboy's POV-**

I woke up in my room after an uneasy sleep. I didn't sleep as easily as I could have a long time ago. I spent nearly the whole night awake, worrying about my brother. I looked around me, and saw Soda sleeping beside me. Slowly, I got out of bed, and took my time dressing up and combing my hair. After I was done, I quietly went downstairs, not sure if Darry was up yet. He was.

Darry was in the kitchen, making himself some coffee. I walked into the kitchen and sat down into one of the chairs quietly. He didn't seem to notice my prescence.

"Hey Darry?" I reluctantly said. Darry turned around and looked at me with a slight sign of surprise. I guess he didn't know I was there. All the same, he sat down in front of me. I looked down at the table. "Yeah, Ponyboy? Somethin' wrong?" he asked me. I looked up at him.

"I'm worried about Soda," I said, looking back down. I really was worried about my brother. He changed so much since Dally and Johnny's deaths that it scared me. He was never this angry. Not even at me. The sight of him yesterday, drunk and messed up, brought tears to my eyes; this was not the Sodapop I knew and loved. This new Soda was the complete opposite of my happy-go-lucky brother, and I didn't like it.

I was so lost in my own thoughts that I nearly flinched when Darry was suddenly at my side. He tried not to show any emotion, but I knew it was still there. He wrapped one arm around my shoulders and gently squeezed.

"I know," he whispered. "It's going to be tough on all of us if this keeps up. But Soda has a hard life, Pony. He's only sixteen, and already he lost Mom, Dad, two really good friends, and nearly you. He had to drop out of school to help us out, which means he might not have a bright future. But he tries anyway." He squeezed my shoulder again. "He's gonna pull through. You'll see."

Hearing Darry's words made me feel a bit better. I just wish I knew what was _really _wrong with Sodapop.

**-Sodapop's POV-**

I woke up again, the throbbing pain in my head gone. I got out of bed and began to get ready for work. Steve would be here any minute. When I was completely ready, I walked downstairs, and stopped at the foot of the steps. I saw Ponyboy talking to Darry. I didn't want to pay attention to what they were talking about. I already knew; they were talking about me. But I caught what they were saying anyway.

"...he tries anyway," Darry was saying. I saw him squeeze Poyboy's shoulder slightly. "He's gonna pull through. You'll see." I sighed inwardly, leaned my head against the wall and closed my eyes. I hated to see Ponyboy so worried over me. But, based on the way I've been behaving lately, I would say he's got a good reason. If only he knew what I was going through. I opened my eyes and walked past the kitchen.

"Hey guys," I said while passing them, not making eye contact with them. Darry stood up and followed me into the living room. I pretended like I didn't notice him. I sat down on the couch and Darry sat down in a chair in front in me. He kept staring at me for a long while, not speaking. I got slightly uncomfortable under his gaze. Finally he broke the silence.

"Soda, we need to talk," he said. I didn't look up at him, but I responded. "What about?"

"Soda, you know very well that things are gettin' way outta hand," Darry said. I continued to stare in a completely different direction. "The way you're behavin' is scarin' us." That made me look up at him. I knew that I wasn't myself anymore, and that my brothers were scared of my new form, but to hear it directly from one of them was a bit shocking. I never meant to scare them in any way, but I can't control myself as well as I used to. "What happened to you that made you change like ya did?" Darry asked, his eyes pleading. I never got a chance to even answer, bacause at that moment, Steve walked into the house.

"Hey guys," he said, leaning against the wall casually. I was glad of Steve's good timing; I didn't want to talk to Darry anymore.

"Come on, Soda," Steve said, walking out the door. "We'll be late for work."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm comin'," I said. I stood up and walked toward the door to follow Steve, but I felt a hard but gentle hand on my shoulder. I looked at it, then turned my gaze to Darry. His eyes were still pleading, asking me to tell him what was wrong. But he knew I wouldn't tell him.

"Darry, I gotta go to work," I said. Darry stood there for another second, then nodded once, removing his hand from my shoulder. As soon as I felt his hand away from my shoulder, I walked quickly out the door. I didn't feel the need to tell Darry anything today.

--

Work seemed to drag on forever. So many things were on my mind, and I kept screwing up simple things up like looking for a tool I needed when all along it was in my hand the entire time. Steve didn't laugh at that today like he usually would. He kept a close eye on me, and I wondered vaguely if Darry put him up to this. Finally, 5o'clock came, and we closed the station for the day. We walked home in silence, which struck me as suspicious; Steve always wanted to talk to me about something. This continued all the way home. As soon as I got into the house, I followed my regular routine: kick off my shoes in different directions, throw my jacket on the couch, miss it, and get myself a glass of chocolate milk. I sat down onto the couch and turned on the TV, Steve sitting next to me. Ponyboy came in a while later with Two-Bit. Darry was still at work, and wouldn't come home until eight tonight.

"Hey y'all," Two-Bit said as he walked in. "How's it goin'?"

"Could be better," I said. I stole a glance at the clock. It read 5:23 p.m. I stood up and walked towards the door. Steve got up.

"Hey Soda, where're ya goin'?" he asked. I didn't look back at him, but put on my jacket. "Out," I said before walking out the door and down the street. From outside, I could hear Two-Bit. "What's up with him?" Then I heard the distant rumble of a conversation going on. I looked back toward the house and kept walking. Once I was sure I was safe from their sight; they could be looking out a window, I sped up to a run. I was gonna be late.


	4. Confronting

**-Sodapop's POV-**

I kept on running for a couple more blocks. Eventually, I slowed down to a walk. Once I had caught my breath, I looked around me. This looked like the right street, but where was Kyle? I heard rapid footsteps coming from behind me, and turned around to see that Kyle was running towards me. He slowed down once he caught up to me.

"Hey Soda, you ready?" he said. Kyle had sandy-colored hair which spikes up in the front. He had a black leather jacket that constantly has the pockets full of beer bottles. He looked like your average Greaser, but he's part of a gang that has more guts then Dallas did. And that's saying a lot; Dally was a well known juvenile delinquent in our town. Their gang name is the Suiciders, a gang that Darry told me to stay well away from.

"Yeah, let's go," I said. Kyle smirked and lead the way.

**-Darry's POV-**

I was exhausted with a capital "E". Walking back toward my truck, my mind was full of all the things that needed to be done at home. Dinner, laundry, bills, trying to keep Two-Bit from wrecking the house, more bills, etc. ect. I was glad that my job was done for the day. Maybe Ponyboy might help me with the house chores today.

I drove the familiar path home, the whole way thinking about my life's issues. Ponyboy's been getting over the deaths of Johnny and Dally, but it seems Soda hasn't. I was planning on confronting Soda and try to help him later on this day, when the bills were finally paid. And speaking of Soda...

Soda was walking toward our house on the other side of the street. He was walking with someone, but he didn't look familiar. But that didn't matter right now. I was too busy examining Soda. He was wearing a jacket, surprisingly; it was nearly 90 degrees seemed to be cradling his arm, but I didn't see any other signs of pain. I honked the horn, and Soda looked up in my direction. I saw him drop his arm hastily, then he reluctantly came over to the truck. Once he was close enough, I spoke.

"Hey Soda, you wanna ride?" I asked him, still eyeing the kid he was walking with. He shook his head. "Nah, I was just walking with Kyle." So that was his name. "I'll be home soon."

"Alright Soda. You be careful, ya hear?" I said to him. He didn't answer, but walked back to Kyle. I began driving again, and soon I reached our house. I was still thinking about Soda while walking up our steps. I looked in the window.

There was Pony reading and Steve and Two-Bit watching Mickey Mouse, but no sign of Soda.

"Hey ya'll," I said when I went inside. Steve and Pony looked up.

"Umm, hey Darry," Steve said, somewhat nervously. I was confused. What was he nervous about?

"Hey, do any of you guys know where Soda was? I saw him walking home with some other Greaser. Said his name was Kyle," I said. They all looked around at each other, except Two-Bit, who was entraced with the mouse dancing across the television screen. After about a minute, Pony looked up at me, looking hesitant.

"All I know is that Soda went out after work," he said, looking as though maybe this was too much information. "Around 5:30 maybe."

I was about to answer him, but I was interrupted by the screen door slamming shut. We all looked up, this time including Two-Bit, and saw Soda in the doorway, looking right back at us. Again, he was still wearing his jacket, and he was cradling his arm. He looked at us for another moment, then began to make his way to the bathroom. Steve stood up and followed Soda. I sat down in the vacant chair, hoping Steve had more luck of talking to Soda then I did.

**-Steve's POV-**

"Soda," I said while following him to the bathroom. "Come on, man, talk ta me." Soda didn't spare a glance at me. "Soda, ya know how much this hurts your brothers, do ya?" He stopped dead in front of the bathroom door. He didn't look back, but I saw his shoulders tensed up. "Please Soda. We're only trying to help you." This time he looked at me over his shoulder. His face was unreadable. He looked back at the door, but didn't enter. "At least tell me why you're cradling your arm like that." His head shot up like a bullet to face me. His eyes were angry, but wait...there was something else...maybe...fear? He quickly went into the bathroom. "Soda-" I tried to say, but he had slammed the door in my face. Shaking my head, I went back to the living room with the rest of them. Darry quickly looked up at me, his eyes expectant.

"What happened? I heard a door slamming," he said. I nodded.

"Yeah, I tried to get him to tell me what was wrong, but he didn't look angry or nothin'. But when I mentioned why he was holdin' his arm, he looked really scared about somethin', then ran into the bathroom before I could ask 'im more."

Darry and Pony looked at each other, confusion in their expressions. I was confused too. Why did Soda look so scared at the mention of his arm? Also, why was he wearing a jacket? It's freakin' hot outside, and it's not any better inside. Darry is definetely gonna ask Soda these questions later. I heard some noise from inside the bathroom, and I hoped whatever Sodapop is doing isn't causing him pain.

**-Sodapop's POV-**

After I had slammed the door, I took of my jacket. I was sweating quite a bit today, on account that it was like 100 degrees outside and I was wearing a jacket. But I couldn't let them see anything. Once I took off my jacket I examined it. There, on my right arm, was a blood-red S tatoo. It was the sign of the Suiciders gang.

A gang that I am now part of.


	5. Painful Memories

**Warning: I know that Darrel Curtis Senior would never compare his sons, but just bear with me on this one.**

**-Ponyboy's POV-**

Soda had come out of the john a few minutes after Steve had told Darry and me about what happened. He didn't try to meet any of our eyes, and headed straight to our room. I got up and followed him, seeing that it was already time to go to sleep anyhow. We didn't talk, much less look much at each other, but I noticed that Soda was being careful about not letting me see him change into a different shirt, and was even more careful about choosing a long sleeved shirt to sleep in. More confusion filled my mind. In our house, we didn't have much privacy, so I had seen Soda undressed once in a while. Why was he stopping now? I decided that maybe this should wait 'til morning, and I got into bed. Soda didn't lie down beside me, but moved to the window, staring off in the streets. He reminded me about how I had looked, probably over a year ago, when I was also staring out the window, wondering why the Socs hated us so much. That was the night Soda told me he was gonna marry Sandy. I rolled over, thinking this through. Was Sandy the reason he was acting this way? I fell asleep thinking about it.

--

I woke up some time in the middle of the night. I tend to do that sometimes, usually because I had a weird dream or because I felt like waking up. But I had a dreamless sleep tonight. But since I was awake, I tried to go back to sleep by putting myself into a more comfortable position. I rolled over to face the window, and to my surprise, Soda was still standing there, this time with a smoking cigarette between his fingers. It still wasn't usual to find Soda with a weed, even with the way he's acting. Something must have been bugging him. I lifted my head, squinting to adjust my eyes.

"Soda?" I whispered. He turned his head slightly to look at me. "Yeah?"

"What're you doin' up?" I said, still whispering.

"Nothing, Pony. Just thinkin'," he said, turning back to the window. That struck me as odd. What was he thinking about, and this late into the night?

"Is somethin' wrong?" I asked. He shook his head. "No, nothin's wrong, Pone. Go back to sleep."

There was a finalty in his voice that told me I was forbidden to ask anything else, and that he didn't want to talk anymore. So I kept my mouth shut. Instead, I rolled over again, and in minutes I was dead to the world.

**-Sodapop's POV-**

I turned my head to face Ponyboy when I was sure he fell asleep. I couldn't sleep a wink tonight. I usually take this time that I have to myself to help me think things through. This is the only time I ever have to myself anymore.

I closed my eyes and found myself in the past...when Mom and Dad died.

***Flashback***

_Dad was in his usual reading chair in the living room when I came home. Darry and Ponyboy were already home and were watching TV. On the table were two opened letters, and two seperate sheets of paper. Report cards. And from the looks of them both of them had gotten excellent grades. Feeling my own report card in my hand, I knew I wasn't gonna be so lucky. Maybe I could last the whole day without giving him the report card. I could try to change the grades to make them _B's _or_ C's. _Anything but an _F. _Ponyboy smiled at me, as if he knew what I was thinking. _

_"There's no point," he said. He gestured toward his and Darry's grades. "He already checked ours."_

_I sighed inwardly as I handed over my grades into Dad's waiting hand. I decided to go to my room; I didn't think I should stay around for the dramatic disappointment my parents might cause. I entered my room and collasped on my bed, throwing arm arm over my eyes. It wasn't bright in the room, but my eyes were exhausted from trying to read the teacher's tiny handwriting on the chackboard. I gave up on that rather quick. A couple seconds later, I heard the door open. 'Oh great' I thought as I lifted my arm off my face and saw Dad standing in the doorway with my report card in his was looknig very disappointed._

_"Sodapop Patrick Curtis, come in the the living room now," he said softly. Uh-oh. Middle name. _

_I got up and silently followed my dad into the living room. I looked over to Pony and Darry; the TV was off and they were both watching anxiously. I stood opposite of them facing my dad. _

_"Soda, what are we gonna do with you?" he asked. I just looked away. I've heard the same lecture over and over, so I knew what to expect. "Everytime, every _year_ you bring us home this." He dropped the report card on the table, so the grades were faced up. I could see the boldface _F's _in almost every one of my subjects. Darry and Ponyboy didn't spare it a glance. Dad walked over to Darry._

_"You should feel proud for having a brother like Darry. He has brought home excellent grades and even got a sports scholarship. I don't see the need why you should not act more like him." _

_Darry didn't look at Dad, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw him give me an apologetic look. I didn't bother to look back at him. I was sick and tired of all this; sick of them feeling sorry for me. Sick of my own dad comparing me to my brothers. He now walked to Ponyboy._

_"You may have have passed gym, but you haven't even joined any sports teams." he continued._

_"That's because I don't want to," I said in reply. However, my words fell upon deaf ears, and Dad looked down at his youngest son. _

_"Ponyboy looks up to us to set him an example on how to live the right way, you included, Sodapop," he said, placing a hand on his shoulder. Pony looked disgusted and shrugged it off. Dad didn't notice this. I was getting madder and madder by the second. Who gives a hang 'bout my grades? Two-Bit is always flunking and I don't see his mother scolding him for it. But then again, Two-Bit's mom would let him get away with murder. Sometimes I wished I had a life as easy as his. I didn't say in front of Dad; no one complains lke that in front on their brothers, especially Darry; we're Greasers, we don't do that. I couldn't believe that Dad would just compare me to my brothers like this. Not that I haven't had the same thing happen to me before. I couldn't stand it; it felt like shit._

_"Hell, even the Randle kid gets better grades than--" he started, but didn't finish. I exploded._

_"WELL, I'M NOT STEVE!" I said. Darry and Ponyboy looked shocked; they hadn't seen me like this before. "I'm not like any of you! I'll never be!"_

_This was true. I could never be like them. Ever._

_I'm just too dumb._

_I took a deep breath and looked at all of them. "I just... I just wish... for once... you would all except the fact that I'm too stupid. I'll never pass school anyway."_

_Darry and Ponyboy immediately stood up. "Soda, you are not stupid!" Darry yelled._

_"Soda, don't talk like that," Ponyboy said._

_"Well, why the hell not?!" I shouted. "Ya'll know it's the truth."_

_They fell silent. Dad stood up and faced me. "Soda, You need to pass school if you ever want to have a better life."_

_I looked at him, feeling a new emotion towards him now: hatred. "You wanna give me a better life? Start with staying out of it!" I yelled. I ran toward my room, my brothers close behind. I entered my room. "Soda--" they both said in unison, but I had already slammed the door. I leaned against it and closed my eyes. I could hear Pony and Darry walking back to the living room. I heard Dad speak._

_"Right," he said. "Well, Darry, I gonna go pick up your mother. I'll be back in a bit."_

_"Yeah," Darry said softly._

_"And Darry? Try to talk some sense into your brother."_

_Even though I couldn't see him, I knew Darry hadn't shown any reaction that he had heard Dad. I heard the door close and the car pulling out the driveway. I walked over to my bed and collasped on it, silently letting the tears fall when my brothers came in and tried to comfort me._

***End Flashback***

I opened my eyes again, and to my surprise, my face felt moist. I hadn't realized I was crying. I hate myself for saying those painful words to my dad.

_"You wanna give me a better life? Start with staying out of it!"_

Those were the last words I would ever say to my dad. I stood up, stiff from sitting so long. I walked over to to the closet and pulled out a picture from the highest shelf. Once I got it down, and sat down again and looked at it. It was taken probably last year, before the car wreck. Dad was sitting in an old lawn chair, with me sprawled on top of him, arms folded behind my head, smiling crazily. It was the only picture we ever took of just us. Me and Dad. I guess we weren't so close. I let a few more tears fall as I looked down at the picture. In one year I had lost five people. Mom, Dad, Dally, Johnny, and Sandy. I cared about each and every one of them, and one by one, they each left.

When they were gone, I was almost driven to a point of insanity, but I promised myself that I had to try to be strong for my brothers and Two-Bit and Steve. I guess I couldn't keep that promise long enough.


	6. Murder

**-Sodapop POV-**

I hadn't realized I had fallen asleep. All I know is that one moment I'm thinking about my parents' deaths, and the next, I'm unconcious.

But there I was was, slumped over in a chair, clutching a picture frame I recognized as the one I was looking at last night. I thought sleepily what time it was. Looking at the clock on the bedside table, it was 3:12 p.m. Damn, I had slept for a while. It was near dawn when I probably fell asleep.

Well anyway, I just got up and headed toward the bathroom. I needed to spash some water on my face, wake myself up.

When I went into the living room, I realized for the first time something wasn't right. It was quiet. Too quiet.

_Where are Ponyboy and Darry?_, I thought. I looked into Darry's room. Empty. And the bed was made. Confused, I went into me and Pony's room. Well, the bed was messy as usual, and Pony wasn't there either. But I found a note on the pillowcase. I walked over and picked it up. It read:

_Soda,_

_me and Darry are in town. We ran outta food and we went to get that and supplies. We have your breakfast for you in the fridge 'cause we didn't want to wake you up. _

_Jeez, what time did you fall asleep last night? Well, we might be a little late, so we're gonna be back late in the afternoon probably. _

_Darry asks if you could get something done in the house while we're gone. _

_Take care,_

_Ponyboy Curtis_

Now, that last request made me laugh. I couldn't help it; Darry knows that I'm just gonna laze around here and do nothing, so why bother telling me in a note that I should clean up after myself? Still chuckling, I dropped the note onto the bed and went back into the living room.

I tried to occupy myself with TV, but there was nothing on. I gave up looking through the channels, looking to see if any new shows were starting. I chucked the remote to chair next to me.

I missed it, of course.

I stood up and decided to go outside. I walked out of the house and headed towards town. I wasn't gonna meet Darry or Ponyboy or nothin', I just needed some time to myself. I needed to clear my head a little, what with all the confusion life's been giving me. I also needed a new atmosphere; the fact that the house was so quiet for the first time kinda gave me a eerie feeling.

I was walking down a random block, no idea where I was headed, when I saw Darry and Ponyboy coming out of a grocery store on the opposite street block. Shit.

Moving quickly, I concealed myself in a large crowd of people that was coming my way. Beyond all the heads that were blocking most of my view, I could barely see Darry and Ponyboy headed toward the truck. I pushed myself away from the crowd of people, earning a few "Watch it!" or "Hey!"

Once I was away from that block, I decided to take a shortcut home through an ally. I was almost at the end of the ally when I heard something.

Shuffling feet. Someone was in here with me.

I braced myself for an attack, thinking that it was probably a group of Socs about to jump me. I saw dark figures coming out from behind the trash cans, and I relaxed a bit. It was the gang.

Well, the Suiciders, at least. I saw Kyle, along with Mark, Jake, and the gang's "leader", Adrian. Adrian beckoned for me to join them. I walked over obediently, but at the same time I was thinking, _what's gonna happen?_

Adrian took us to his car. It was a black Corvette. God, but it was tuff. He had me sit in the front. Confused, I went in. Jake, Kyle, and Mark made to sit in the back.

"No you guys, stay here," Adrian said. The others looked confused for a moment, but then they grinned, stepping back from the bar. Now, I was beginning to get a little scared. Now what? Adrian drove us a bit into Soc territory. I was getting more and more frightened. Was he just gonna drive me and leave me here, or what?

We stopped at a mural wall. It was covered in a whole bunch of paintngs and murals people had made over the years. I recognized one as the Suiciders sign. Blood-red and fresh, the gang sign stood out from the rest of the paintings. I saw a guy standing there. And looking closer, I saw that he was starting to paint over the Suiciders mark.

"You see that guy, Sodapop?" Adrian spoke suddenly, startling me. "He seems to think that we Suiciders aren't important. We're here to prove him wrong." Out of nowhere, he took out a gun and gave it to me. "I want you to threaten him with this. He don't budge, shoot him."

I turned to gun over in my hands. I didn't like this, not one bit. But I was afraid to disobey Adrian. I knew what had happened to gang members who either disobeyed or tried to ditch them. I didn't want to even think about it. I got out of the Corvette, the black gun in my hand. I walked over to the guy. Now that I was closer, I saw that he seemed no older than eighteen, two years older than I am now. "Hey!" I shouted, moving closer. He turned, looking a bit surprised by my sudden appearence.

"Hey," he said before returning to his mural.

"What do ya think you're doin', painting over that sign there?" I asked, pointing at the S. He put his painting materials down and then stood up straight, looking me straight in the eye. "And why would you care about this? Not like you own it or something."

"Actually, " I said slowly. I rolled up my jacket sleeve, revealing my mark. "I do."

He stared at it for a couple seconds, then looked back at me. "And if I don't stop painting over it?"

I took out the gun and pointed it at him. "You'll probably have your brains blown out."

He eyed the gun. His face was expressionless, but I could see, even from where I was standing, that he had genuine fear in his eyes.I remained silent for a second, and in that second I knew that if this guy didn't budge, I would have no choice but to kill him; Adrian was watching me. My hand started to tremble as I thought about Darry, and how depressed he'll be when I get sent to jail for murder. And Ponyboy... he wouldn't be able to stand it. But I would lose them faster if I don't get this guy to do what I tell him to. Taking a shaky breath, I spoke.

"Look," I said, and I was surprised at how quiet my voice sounded. How vulnerable... I kept the gun pointed at his chest. "I don't wanna do this. I have no intention of shooting you. I know that you don't wanna die either." How stupid I sounded right there. Of _course_ he didn't want to die! "It's very simple what you have to do. Just move away from the goddamn wall."

His eyes bore into mine, as though daring me to shoot him. I didn't though. He took a step toward me, hand extended.

"Hey come on, man--"

"JUST MOVE AWAY FROM THE FUCKIN' WALL!" I shouted. My whole hand was shaking madly now, and I was vaguely aware of the cold beads of sweat that were dripping down my forehead. He stopped looking hesitant. None of us said anything for what felt like an eternity. Out of nowhere, he lunged toward my hand, reaching for the gun. It all went by too fast. I panicked and my hand reacted instantly. I pulled the trigger.

The loud crack of a gunshot sounded, and the boy stumbled. I saw the petrified look in his face before he crumpled on the ground, face down. A dark pool of scarlett blood spread from underneath him. He was dead.

There was a loud clank as the gun fell from my numb hand. I stared in horror at the body at my feet. I couldn't move. I couldn't feel. I had done what Adrian and Mark and Kyle had all done. What Johnny... small, quiet Johnny had done such a long time ago, before he ran off to Windrixville with Ponyboy.

_I killed him._

* * *

I didn't notice the sirens until I heard them... only a few blocks away. I whipped around, about to run into the car. I faced an empty street. I cursed underneath my breath. Adrian must have driven away when I had killed the painter. The sirens were growing louder. A feeling of dread swept over me like a wave, and I started to run faster than I had ever run before. Adrian had driven me a bit out of Greaser territory, so I knew my way from here. As I crossed the town, I noticed familiar places rushing past me as I ran; the Dingo, the D/X, the vacant lot....

"Soda!"

I spared a quick glance over my shoulder, and what I saw made me run faster, if that was possible. Darry and Ponyboy were getting out of the truck just behind me. When they saw that I made no attempt to slow down, let alone stop, they ran after me, calling my name as they went. I had a bit of a head start, but I knew it was no use; Pony could outrun me anyday with no effort. And sure enough, as I tried to turn a block corner, I felt the impact of his body slamming into mine, and we both fell to the ground. I felt a sharp pain in my head as it collided with the concrete. Ponyboy sat up and grabbed my shoulders, his face pale.

"Soda! Soda, are you okay?" he said frantically. I tried to say something reassuring to him, that I was fine, but all that came out was a coughing fit at the loss of breath from running. "I'm sorry, Soda. I didn't think that I would hurt you. Are you alright?"

Darry had reached us by now. He knelt down beside me, gently pulling me up in sitting position. "You okay, little buddy?" he asked. I nodded and slowly stood up to my feet. Darry and Pony followed suit. I glanced at both of them. Ponyboy still looked pale and frightened. But Darry's face held no concerned. Anger had replaced it. Instantly, he started shouting.

"Soda, what the hell were you doin'!?" he shouted. I hung my head. I never liked it when anyone yelled at me, much less my brother.

"Jeez Soda, what are you trying to do, give us a heart attack? You know how scared I was when we were driving home, and out of nowhere you run in front of the truck?! I almost ran you over! Didn't you see us?!" he yelled. I glanced up, surprised. I ran in front of the Ford? Guess I was running too fast to notice. I shook my head at Darry's question. Darry opened his mouth to shout some more, but quicky Ponyboy spoke up.

"What were you running from anyway, Soda?" he asked. Instantly, the feeling of dread and the memories of what I did came back to me. I couldn't tell them. Not this.

"Nothing," I said, after a while.

**-Darry POV-**

I had never seen Soda like this. He was petrified-looking, white as a sheet and shaking all over. My anger evaporated as quickly as it came, and I went over to him and gently put a strong arm around his shoulders.

"You wanna go home, Pepsi-Cola?" I asked softly. He nodded ever so sightly. He was looking dead on his feet, so I helped him to the Ford, Pony right behind us. Inside the truck, Pony and me had Soda sandwiched between us. Driving home, I glanced sideways toward my brothers. Sodapop had his head rested on top of Ponyboy's. He was staring straight ahead, looking terrified. He wrapped his hand around Ponyboy's and held on tightly. I felt a familiar pang of jealously. They were always so close, sometimes it was as though they didn't need me in their lives. I shifted my gaze back onto the road. As we stopped at a red light, I saw his hand rest on top of my knee. Tears came to my eyes as I placed my hand on top of his, and he twisted his around, wrapping his fingers around mine.

It nearly broke my heart, seeing him like this. For that brief moment, we had him back. For that moment, he was again the Sodapop we knew and cared for.


	7. Sudden Nightmares

**This chapter has been redone. Whatever was written before will be added in a later chapter. Sorry! =)**

**-Ponyboy POV-**

I held Soda's hand all the way home, only letting go to get out of the truck. The three of us walked in silence toward our run-down house. I stole a glance at Sodapop. His eyes remained glued to the porch, but his face face was luminated enough for me to see that he was still quite pale. We stepped onto the front porch.

"Soda?" I asked almost timidly. He looked at me. He stopped and looked up at me. Darry had his hand on the doorknob, but paused at the door way, looking at both of us. I nodded at him, as if telling him that everything was okay. He nodded back, almost reluctantly. He entered the house, but by the way his footsteps sounded, I could tell he was still in the living room. I faced Soda. He was staring at me, waiting for a question that I was sure he didn't want to be asked.

"Soda, c'mon," I said softly. "You know you can tell me anything. Even Darry." He slipped his hands into his pockets and stared at the ground, swaying slightly from side to side. I swear, he looked like a kid that was caught doing something and tried to pull it off by looking cute.

"We want to know what happened," I said. "We can't help ya unless you tell us what you're--"

His head raised, and he cut me off. "What I'm doin' is my own business. And it's not something for either of you, or Steve or Two-Bit, to get involved in."

He opened the door behind him and turned to go into the living room. I followed. Well, Darry wasn't here; he must have gone to his room. Soda continued to walk away from me.

"You were the one who told us that if we don't have each other, we don't have anything!" I shouted at his retreating figure. "Or were those just words to you?"

I had struck a nerve. He spun around angrily. "I meant every word I said that night!" he yelled. He started toward me. I managed to stand my ground.

"Remember that night we all made a promise to each other?" I said loudly. He stopped in his tracks. "What promise?" he asked.

I grew a bit cold. Aw, Soda, Don't tell me you already forgot! I walked past him, facing the stairs, my back to him. I turned myself around. He had kept his gaze on me and was still staring at me blankly. "We all made a promise," I said. "The night Mom and Dad died."

He face grew sad. I shared his misery. I knew what had happened that day, and Soda's harsh words that he shouted at our dad still echoed inside my mind. "You, me and Darry promised each other that night that we would always be there for one another. No matter what," I said. "We need you to tell us what been goin' on with you."

"I had already told you," he said, brushing past me heading toward our room. "Nothing for you guys to get involved in." I stared at his retreating figure. I knew that mentioning our parents' deaths was hardest on him, but I had to know. His hand was on the door knob. He was about to enter, and before I knew it, I shouted.

"Dad would have wanted you to tell us!"

He froze and stiffened. I caught sight of something dripping from his face. When he raised his head to stare at me, I was startled to see that there were tears rapidly coming down his cheeks. He shakily opened his mouth to speak.

"Dad's not here."

He forced the door open. I opened my mouth to call him, to assure him that everything was going to be okay, when I heard a sob escape his lips as he ran into the room, slamming the door behind him. I sat down on a chair without newspaper and bills and propped my elbow on my knee, placing my forehead onto my fist. I had never really seen Soda cry or show any emotions about our parents' death since their funeral. And even there, Soda had only cried during the service, but when we had headed home, he wasn't crying or nothing. Just staring out of the car window, looking lost. Didn't talk, and headed straight for his old room when we got home. I remember hearing nothing coming from his room, but I was too depressed that day to try and comfort him...

A soft knocking on wood startled me out of my memory. I looked up to see Darry in front of our doorway, a fist raised as he slowly knocked.

"Soda, please let me in," Darry pleaded. He seemed to be standing there for a while.

"Go away, Darry," came the muffled response coming from inside the room.

"Soda," Darry said, looking desperate. "Please."

Nothing was heard inside the room. Darry sighed and walked into the living room. He sat down opposite from me, moving a few papers to do so. "Poor little guy," he said, looking at the floor. I looked from Darry to me and Soda's room. This time I heard more sobs coming from inside. It almost made me cry too, knowing that that our parents' death was hurting him real bad. I held it back though. I had to at least be strong. For Soda.

--

**-Darry POV-**

I tried to get Soda to open the door again. I knew he needed to talk to someone, but he wouldn't say anything. I left to pay a few more bills, then tried again. I turned the doorknob, and to my surprise it opened. I looked inside. Sodapop was lying on the bed asleep, his face tear-streaked. He had probably opened the door to let Pony in when he came to go to sleep. I glanced at my watch. _8:58_. Damn. The day sure went by quickly. I went to my room to go to sleep, saying 'good night' to Pony, who was heading toward his and Soda's room. I lay on my bed, and closed my eyes, trying to sleep.

But I couldn't, as usual.

Every night, I kept thinking about Soda. I missed that lively, reckless little idiot so much it hurt. A couple hours later, I was tossing and turning on my bed, and when sleep still wouldn't come, I got up. I decided that maybe some warm milk or something might help me enough to sleep. I walked into the kitchen as quietly as I could, trying not to wake up my brothers. In the kitchen, I rummaged through the icebox and found me some milk. I let it heat for a couple minutes before I drank it. I sat myself down at the table, trying my best to relax. The milk idea seemed to work, and then my eyelids felt heavy. I closed my eyes, resting for a couple minutes. Then I heard it. From inside my brothers' room, a heard someone screaming bloody-murder.

I ran as fast as I could toward them, thinking that Ponyboy was having a nightmare. That thought quickly left my mind as I entered their room. Someone was having a nightmare, but it wasn't Ponyboy.

Soda was thrashing wildly in his sleep, screaming at the top of his lungs. Pony was keeping a firm grip on him, but he was losing it.

"Soda! Wake up!" Pony shouted. I walked over to help him out. With my help, Soda was barely struggling. Sweat was pouring down his face, and he was breathing heavily. I didn't know how to handle this; whenever Ponyboy had a nightmare, Soda would be the one who would be able to calm him down. Now, however, Soda was the one having the nightmares, and this was something I had never dealt with before. I layed down next to him, wrapped my arm around him and hugged him close. I leaned forward and whispered a few calm words into his words, just as I had seen Soda do with Ponyboy countless times.

"No!" he shouted, and his eyes snapped opened, darting around the room. He saw us and immediately shot out of my grip, out of bed, and backed up into the wall, momentarily not recognizing us.

I climbed out of the bed and headed toward him cautiously, Pony following suit. I put my hands up in front of him in a gentle manner, whispering, "It's okay Soda. It's me. Darry."

As Soda slowly took in that it was just us, he slid down the wall and sat on the floor, leaning against it. Pony sat down beside him, placing his arm around Soda's shoulders. Soda then broke down completely, sobbing onto Pony's shoulder. Pony put his other arm other Soda and kept hugging him close, whispering to him, rocking him slowly. I looked down at my younger brother, at a complete loss of what to say.

Instead, I also sat down next to him, wrapping my arms around him and Ponyboy. That was how we remained until we all fell asleep.


	8. The Morning After

**-Sodapop POV-**

_The loud crack of a gunshot sounded, and the boy stumbled. I saw the petrified look in his face before he crumpled on the ground, face down. A dark pool of scarlett blood spread from underneath him. He was dead._

_As I stared at the boy in horror, something in my mind clicked; didn't this happen before?_

_Suddenly, I heard a soft, cold laugh. From behind me. I spun around, and saw Adrian coming toward me_

_"So, you really killed him, huh?" he said, smirking. It almost made me sick that he was enjoying the fact that I was scared stiff that I had just killed someone. He circled me, hands in his pockets. He never took his gaze off me, and I him. Finally, he eyed the boy was the ground. When he looked up at me, his smile grew. "Your brothers, Sodapop?" he said lowly._

_My breath got caught in my throat. What was he talking about? Afraid of what I might see, I looked behind me. _

_Ponyboy was lying on the ground._

_His shirt was torn completely to rags, and was drenched in red liquid. A really deep stab wound was embedded in his chest. His eyes were opened, horrified at the last thing he had seen. I stumbled backward, breathing quickly, my heart racing. And that when I saw another figure in the shadows. I held my breath and walked toward it. _

_Darry was on the ground, sitting upright, his expression identical to the one Ponyboy was wearing. His head was rested on his shoulder, never moving. It was then when I looked closer that I saw the cut. Darry's throat had been slit, a deep wound where the knife must've cut the skin. His entire frontside was covered in blood. Fresh blood. _

_I stood there, wide-eyed and mouth opened, breathing quick, short gasps. Something suddenly shifted in my hands, and reluctantly, I looked down. In my hand, instead of where a gun should have been, there was a long knife, completely red to the tip. I didn't even feel the knife drop as it fell from my hand into a large pool of blood coming from both my brothers. A click sounded, and I looked up again._

_The click turned out to be Adrian, holding up a revolver. Aiming it. At me._

_"You're next," he sneered. No noise was sounded as he pulled the trigger._

_"No!" I shouted. I shot up and found myself in my bed, two figures staring at me in shock, one keeping a hold on me._

I leapt out of someone's arms and out of bed, facing them and backing away until I hit the wall. They approached me, one holding his hands up, a sign that he wasn't gonna hurt me. Then I heard his voice.

"It's okay Soda. It's me. Darry."

I slid down the wall in relief that it was just them. Ponyboy sat down next to me, holding a firm arm around my shoulders. I couldn't take it anymore. I cracked.

I sobbed uncontrollably on Ponyboy's shoulder, and he pulled me into a tight hug, rocking me slowly back and forth.

"It's alright, Soda. It's okay. We're here. Shhhh," he whispered. "Shhhh. It was just a dream. It's okay."

Darry them sat down on my other side and hugged me and Ponyboy close, me stuck in the middle. I sat there, crying, somehow knowing what the dream meant.

It meant that if I didn't do anything the gang tells me to do, they would kill my family. And I would be next. I couldn't run away, knowing that they might take my brothers and hold them for ransom if they see me gone. And I couldn't stay here, with the risk of Darry finding out and trying to solve it himself. He could get killed, and it would be all my fault. Either way, I knew I was trapped. They had me. I had to do what they say.

----

**-Ponyboy POV-**

I woke up all stiff from sitting upright all night. I looked to my right and saw Darry asleep, his chin rested on Soda's head. Soda, however was wide awake, and he looked terrible. He had dark circles under his eyes, looking completely tired and stressed. His eyes weren't lively or laughing anymore. They were hard and dazed. He was staring straight ahead, thinking hard about something. I lifted my head a little, causing his shoulder to move and breaking him out of his trance. He blinked once and then gave me a sideways glance.

"Soda?" I whispered, trying to get his attention. He looked at me, then looked away.

"What's wrong?" I asked, not really expecting an answer. As I thought, Soda shook his head slowly. "Please," I pleaded with him.

Darry suddenly groaned and opened his eyes. He let out a huge yawn and looked over to us.

"Why are you guys still up?" he said drowsily.

"We barely woke up just now. Or at least, I did." I gestured my head pointedly at Soda. Darry got to his feet and looked down at Soda.

"C'mon, Sodapop," he said, extending his hand to him. "Time for breakfast, then you gotta go to work." Soda took Darry's offered hand, but mumbled, "I ain't hungry." With that he left the room and we heard the door of the john close shut. Darry helped me to my feet ans asked, "What was he doing when you woke up?"

"Dunno," I answered. "He wasn't doin' much anything. Just staring at the wall. He looked terrible." Darry didn't ask me any farther and left to his room. I followed after him out of the room, deciding to watch a bit of TV. I walked in the living room and plopped down on the couch, grabbing the remote. I turned on the television and, not in the mood to watch Mickey Mouse, I turned on the morning news. I changed the channel just in time for the headline news.

"...breaking news that a boy was found dead near the West-side of the town of Tulsa, Oklahoma. He is known as Ethan Harrison, an 18 year old senior in Tulsa High. Ear witnesses had stated that they had heard a loud shouted argument before the shot was heard. No eye witnesses have reported ever seeing this take place."

I heard an almost inaudible whimper behind me. If I didn't have the TV on low volume, I probably wouldn't have heard it. I turned my head to see Soda, looking more terrible than ever, staring at the TV, horrified.

"Soda?" I asked softly, getting up from the couch and walking towards him slowly. Mom would always do the same thing whenever we got scared. "You okay?"

He didn't answer me, but continued to stare at the television. I looked back at it in time to hear the news reporter say, "... gun had been found next to the victim. Police have decided that this was a suicide, no evidence of a murder had been found."

I grabbed the remote and flicked off the television. I looked again at Soda. "What's goin' on?"

I asked it firmly, the way Darry has been asking me questions for a long time. He slowly tilted his head to look back at me. After a long moment, he looked down and shook his head. "Nothing," he answered, running his hand through his not yet washed hair. I sighed in frustration but let it pass. "Okay, well at least go get ready for work like Darry told you too."

He nodded and walked as fast as he could without running to the bathroom. A collapsed on the couch again a bit agitated. It was enough that Soda was acting badly, but now he thinks he can't trust me and Darry. I was really gonna have to tell Darry about this later.

**-Darry POV-**

I quickly backed up against the wall to avoid getting run over by Sodapop. I had been watching what was happening in the living room from the hallway, and I had to admit that it was weird the way Soda had reacted to the news. Usually, he wouldn't give a crap. I walked toward Ponyboy, once again lying on the couch.

"Hey Pony," I greeted. He looked up at me. "Darry, did you notice the way Soda's been acting? I mean, he just saw the news and looked like he was about to get sick," he said.

I nodded. "Yeah, I was watchin' from the hall. I'm gonna ask him later. I gotta get to work now," I said while trying to put on his work boots. "Two-Bit or Steve are gonna come over later, alright?"

"Yeah."

"SODA! COME ON, YOU'RE GONNA BE LATE FOR WORK!" he shouted toward the bathroom. Almost at once, Soda came stumbling out, dressed with a few drops of water dripping from his soaked hair.

"Give me a minute!" he said, and rushed into our room. Darry shook his head. "I'm gonna have to wake him up earlier," he mumbled to himself. Finally, Soda ran out of our room, hopping forward toward the front door on one foot, attempting to put on his other shoe. When it was finally on, he tried without succeeding to put on a happy grin on his face. It really looked more like he was in serious pain.

"Let's go," Darry said, turning toward the door. I could tell he had noticed Soda's weird expression, but wasn't gonna push him about it. Soda bade a quick 'bye' and left after Darry. And I stayed there, sprawled on the couch, and let out a deep breath, closing my eyes. I was asleep when Two-Bit came over.

_That's chapter eight! I have a vague idea of where this story is heading, but if anyone could give me some ideas for future writing, I would appreciate it! I promise to update soon! ^^_


	9. I Hate Him, I Love You

**Isoya: ***screams* I didn't update since _April??!! _Are you effing _serious??!!_ Oh my God, and I still have to work on In the Hands of Others, not to mention all the other stories that I wrote in my free time and _still_ haven't finished! And I'm putting stuff into my new room and _homework_--  
**Dally: ***dumps a bucket of water over Isoya's head*  
**Isoya: ***takes deep, shaky breaths* T-thanks.  
**Dally:** That wasn't to help you. That was for my pure entertainment.  
**Two-Bit:** *cracking up nearby*  
**Isoya:** If you don't shut up, I will kill you off in this story!!  
**Two-Bit: ***screams shrilly* Nooooooo!!!!

**Darry, Johnny and Ponyboy stifle their laughter while Soda, who is drinking his chocolate milk, does a spit take, making all the milk that he had been drinking land onto Steve.**

**Steve:** EEWW!!!  
**Darry:** *sighs* Must I always be the responsible one?  
**All: **YES!!!  
**Darry:** Fine. **Isoya does not own any of us. We belong rightfully to S.E. Hinton. **Now I'm leaving before she makes me do it again. *walks off*  
**Isoya: **But don't you wanna know what happens to your brother?! *to readers* Review please!

**-Sodapop POV-**

"Damn," I muttered under my breath as I let the wrench I _had _been holding slip through my fingers. It landed with a loud clatter on the ground that echoed throughout the garage.

But in my mind I could only hear the echo of the shot that rang through the air. The gunshot I had only fired only hours earlier.

From his position under the car, Steve called out, "Soda, you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," I muttered under my breath. I rubbed my blood-shot eyes; I probably didn't have more than three or four hours sleep last night. There was a sound a rolling wheels and I looked up. Steve had rolled himself out from under the car and was looking up at me weirdly. I had never actually seen my best friend so concerned before. He sat up.

"Ya sure?"

"GODdammit, Steve, I said I was _FINE_!" I snapped, making Steve jump. The force of the impact Steve had landing on the platform again made it roll underneath the car; Steve fell on the hard concrete of the garage. Any other time, I would've laughed. I let out a deep breath and leaned against the side of the Impala. "Sorry," I whispered, staring out of the garage door, into the street.

There was an uncomfortable silence before Steve spoke up again.

"Soda," he said hesitantly. "Did something..._ happen_, last night? Darry told me how upset you were this morning."

I turned my head slowly to face him. "Really?" I said coldly. "And what else did he tell you?" I stood up and walked away from the car, away from Steve, to the other side of the garage. Steve remained where he was sitting.

"Well, he also told me that you were _running away _last night?" Steve was talking calmly, but I was fuming.

"Of course he did," I said quietly, putting as much venom as I could into it. Steve fell into silence again. After a moment, he hesitantly spoke.

"Soda?" I turned to him, and he slightly cringed, clearly hoping I wouldn't shout at him. A wave of a familiar terror washed over me. He looked so scared...

_Well, you should be scared, Steve._

"_Is_ something wrong?" he finished. I took a deep breath and relaxed slowly.

"No, man. I'm sorry," I muttered. I rubbed my eyes tiredly. "Just had a rough night." _A _really _rough one..._

"Did you get any sleep?"

I sighed. "No," I said, for once in what seemed an eternity, truthfully.

**-Darry POV-**

It wasn't that late.

But the sky was almost dark by the time I got home, and I was really in the mood to go have a long rest. So I tried very hard not to think that I still had to pay a few bills, pick up Pony from the library at nine-thirty, and make sure Soda's food was edible.

I drove onto the narrow driveway and parked the car. I got out as slow as I could, trying not to make my aching back worse. I had just climbed up the stairs to the porch and had my hand on the doorknob when I realized the house was completely quiet. Real quiet.

Starting to worry, I went inside quickly. Soda was sitting on the couch, staring at the television. The TV wasn't even turned on. Soda was just staring at it.

I don't know why but that sent a chill up my spine.

"Hey Soda," I greeted, heading into the kitchen.

"Hi Darry," he slurred. Slurred? I walked back to the living room, staring at Soda, eyebrows furrowed. He didn't even acknowledge that I was there. I raised my eyebrows and shrugged.

"Okaaaay. Well, come on, you still have to make dinner." I was heading toward my room.

Then out of nowhere...

"You're bossy."

I turned back to him, completely taken aback by this random fact. "What?"

He looked up at me innocently and shrugged. "You're bossy," he repeated. Then he gave me a look over, from head to toe. "And _huge_."

Soda drawled out that last word and when he was finished he let out an uncharacteristic giggle. I threw my head back slowly and sighed. _Crap_. "Are you drunk?" I asked, looking back at him, already expecting the answer.

He shrugged again, extending his arms to his sides. "Yeah. So?"

I glanced down to his feet and saw a couple of empty alchohal bottles sitting there. I glared at them while Soda randomly muttered, "Stupid." (1)

I wanted run over to him, grab him by the shoulders and shake him as hard as I could, all while shouting, _pleading_ with him to stop doing this. That he was scaring us with his behavior. I didn't like my brother drunk. I didn't like him acting this way, acting as though nothing were wrong with him when clearly _something_ was wrong! And I didn't like that he was turning to alchohal and possibly _drugs_ instead of his brothers or his best friend! I didn't like this new version of my brother. I want him to become that happy kid that had considered me his hero since he was a kid, that lively brother that was one of two reasons I even wake up every day. I hated his new self. I hated it...

I hated him...

My eyes widened. I hated him.

"Come on, Darry, it's not exactly like you hide it," Soda said, checking one of his empty bottles and turning it over upside-down, checking in vain to see if there was any left. I turned my gaze on him again. He rolled his eyes. "Okay, I got it from work, alright?" he said, smiling. I shook my head, trying to shake away previous thoughts. It was quiet for a moment, where Soda gave up searching for more alchohal and returned to staring at the television. I sighed.

I inhaled and exhaled deeply, and just sat down on the recliner. I leaned my head back and closed my eyes, rasing my hands to rub my temples. I was just trying to relax.

When I looked back over at Sodapop, he wasn't smiling anymore. There was no trace of humor that had just been there seconds ago; in fact, he just continued to stare at the television (another chill spread throughout my body), this time his eyes were lost and confused. I've never seen him so depressed, even when he was sober.

Soda took a deep breath. "I did it, you know."

I looked back at him, startled. "Did what?"

He turned his gaze on me, and I noticed something that I couldn't see before: his eyes were wet. "Last night..." I detected a slight quiver in his voice.

For the third time already, I shuddered. I remembered what had happened last night, with Soda running for his life, not knowing I had almost hit him with the truck, and the way he had acted. Something had scared him awful--

"That kid that was wasted..." he continued quietly. My head snapped up. Please don't say what I think you're about to say.

"I.. was the one that did it."

I don't know what came over me, but all I remember was that my fist slammed against the coffee table in front of us. Hard. But Soda didn't so much as flinch.

"You _don't _say that," I growled fiercely. I wasn't mad; I was scared. I was scared that what Soda had said was true. I mean, he did run like the goddamn Devil was after him last night. And the way he wouldn't tell us what he had seen, I didn't think is was _him _that had done it!

No, no, no! He _didn't _do it. He was involved in _no_ murder, and he sure as hell didn't _kill _anybody. I made myself believe what I was thinking; this was my brother! He would never kill anyone! Pretty soon, I had myself convinced, and turned to Soda. His eyes were misty with the tears the he hadn't shed yet. "You didn't kill _anyone_."

"Yeah, and how do you know that, Darry?" he said sharply, looking up at me quickly. I didn't say anything. "Does make a lot of sense, doesn't it?"

"No," I cut in. "It _doesn't_."

"Damn it, Darry!" he shouted. "How do you know?! How do you know it wasn't me?!"

"Because it isn't_ you_!" I yelled over him. He was quiet.

"This whole thing isn't you, Soda! This-" I gestured at him, "-isn't you! Honestly, Sodapop, I can't believe that you just suddenly changed into this! You're scaring us!"

That made him cringed, backing deeper into the couch, and looked down at his knees.

Ignoring this, I continued. "Just please! Don't ever say that again, okay? You didn't kill anybody."

After a while of silence, Soda finally nodded, rubbing his eyes. I didn't know if it was for the tears threatening to fall or if it was just drowsiness. That thought in mind, I got up from my seat. "Alright. C'mon. Let's get you to bed." I knew he was in no condition to walk, so instead of wasting my time supporting him just to get to his room, I placed an arm around his waist and one underneath his knees and picked him up. I was shocked; he was so light.

Sodapop didn't seem to have a problem with me carrying him; in fact, he wrapped both his arms around my neck and nuzzled his face in it, the way he used to do with Dad when he was little. I smiled, and took him to his room.

In his room, I carefully placed him on his bed. Before I could let him go, he spoke. "You gotta watch out for me."

"I already do, little buddy," I said, containing my surprise. I tried to lay him down, but he held on tightly. "No. I mean, _really _watch out for me."

"Soda--"

"Promise?"

I was silent. Soda raised his head and stared hard at me.

Finally, I sighed. "Promise." (2)

He relaxed instantly, and finally let me go. Carefully, I laid him on his back, unwrapping my arms from him, and he lifted himself up to pull at the covers from underneath him.

"Okay, Soda. Try to get some sleep okay? I'll be in the living room if you need anything," I said, getting up and turning to leave.

"No, please stay with me 'til I fall asleep," he pleaded, sticking out his bottom lip. I had to laugh.

"Okay," I said, giving in. I turned back into the room and grabbed the nearest chair, dragged it over to Soda's side of the bed, and sat down. Soda smiled and closed his eyes. In a matter of seconds he fell asleep.

But I stayed there for a while, staring at my younger brother. I once heard Pony tell me that I looked younger when I slept, young and carefree, yet vunerable. That exactly how Soda looked right now.

He looked like the Soda we knew best. There was even a smile on his lips as he slept. To my surprise, tears starting to fill my eyes. I missed him... badly.

I decided I had to leave in order to pick Ponyboy up in time. But before I left, I leaned over Soda, briefly kissing his forehead.

"I love you," I whispered.

To my immense relief, those words couldn't be truer.

* * *

**(1)** This is from a Supernatural episode which was called, I believe, "Playthings," where Sam had gotten drunk and Dean had found him in the hotel room they were sharing.  
**(2)** Same episode, but Sam made Dean promise that he had to look out for him since it seems that Sam thinks he was a danger to himself. I dunno, I haven't seen the episode in a while, but it's really good!

**BTW, I'M SORRY!!!! I know people are probably mad at me for keeping them waiting for so long, I know! But a stupid thunderstorm knocked the Internet off my computer for a month and then school started, and with the back-breaking amount of homework we get every day, I barely have time for anything! But But I'm gonna try to be on more often now, mm-kay? Thank you! Love you all!**


	10. AN Plea!

**First of all, let me explain that THIS IS NOT AN UPDATE!!! SORRY!!**

**Second, I'd like to apololigize very deeply to this story's readers that as of a few days ago, this story is now place in **_**temporary hiatus. **_

**Again, REAL SORRY!**

**But you know that thing that happens with your brain when you have a good idea where the story is headed and all these creative ideas for the next chapter and all of a sudden, overnight, it just... disappears?**

**Yeah. It happened.**

**So I'd also like to take this note to ask to if you have any ideas. Anything at all, whether it be Soda getting hurt by the Suiciders, someone getting kidnapped, ANYTHING!! Please, review your ideas or send them to me in a PM if you want me to continue this story. And I really want to fisnish it. I just need your help.**

**A big thanks to all the people who reviewed previous chapters. They were a big motivation. And I hope you all are the ones who help me save this story. Thanks, y'all!**

**-Donatello8696**


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